Don't Give Up On Me (English Translation)
by TheProfessionalShooshPapper
Summary: Original in Spanish by Froggy's Love AU. YAOI. I just want someone to care... I know I'm a piece of shit most of the time, but... please... don't give up on me, Gamzee. Don't leave me... I... I need you. GamzeexKarkat / Drugs, self-injury (cutting)


I was on the roof of my apartment, hating everything as always. But this day turned out to be even more horrible than usual. The beautiful sunrise, which usually incited people to get up with encouragement and to continue their miserable lives with a false positive, now just seemed like the most depressing scene I've ever seen. It was so beautiful, and soon it would be the last thing I saw. I was on the roof. Right on the edge of the building. Pinning the guardrail behind me. Read to... Ready to?

I don't know if I would have jumped. Everything was meaningless bullshit in this life... but still, maybe... I wanted to live. Deep inside my gray and bitter heart. The only problem is, I didn't have enough reasons to cling to life. I was just a simple, good for nothing, 16 year old, coward boy annoyed by the routine, hating everything around me, and even myself. Disgusting.

But I could be wrong... Maybe if I had friends, but I was certain that while acting as such, they'd hate me deep inside their hearts. Who wouldn't? It's impossible not to be the nasty little shit I am. It's amazing, the power of hatred itself. Consuming my body and destroying all distance and simple pleasure that life wants to give.

I was pathetic and I knew it. I began to breathe more deeply, and I felt like the wind would push me towards my purpose.

"I hate the wind," I whispered to myself, just to hear my voice, shaky and weak, and feel that this was real, that what I was about to do was real, and I couldn't go back once I decided.

I wonder when I will feel pain. My disgusting body falling to the asphalt, feeling like I can't breathe because of the speed, then hitting the ground, shattering what I hate most. I doubt it's more painful than every day, than right now. Nothing compares to this hatred, deep and merciless, infecting every cell of my body and making me who I am. Maybe if someone cared. If someone were stupid-enough... brave enough to stand me.

"I just want... I just want to matter to someone," I said aloud not being able to stand it, feeling the tears fall freely down my cheeks, being the only things to caress me with such kindness.

I was ready. At that time there was nothing to make me change my mind. I was miserable and there was no turning back. Just... Only one little step and this struggle will finally end.

I'm sure nobody would shed a tear

I'm sure someone will laugh.

But still... even though his love was cynical...

No! I was ready. This was my moment.

I stretched my foot with fear, feeling nothing but the wind that wanted to kill me.

But I was surprised by two hands grabbing me. I wanted to turn around to look at the idiot who was screwing with my plans. It was surely some fucking janitor who likes to get into other people's affairs.

_Nothing goes right for me, dammit! Not even dying!_

Before I could turn around, I felt myself being pulled upwards, over the guardrail.

"What?! Let me go!"

There were still tears in my eyes and didn't want them to see me like that. I suddenly fell to the ground, making a loud noise.

"My motherfucking brother! Don't do it!"

I looked up to see an incredibly messy guy, with a painted clown face, but some paint had smudged, which made him look creepy.

_Am I dreaming?_

His next move was to take my shoulders firmly and look me straight in the eyes. They were red and swollen because of the tears.

"Let me go, asshole!" I shout, quickly releasing his grip.

He reeked of marijuana, so I backed further away wincing in disgust.

"But brother! You can't kill yourself! Every human being is a fucking miracle!" he yelled, upset.

"I'm not a fucking miracle! I'm defective! I am no one! A piece of shit!" I shouted back angrily, but more with myself, "Now go away!"

I felt the tears returning to caress my cheeks and tried to dry them with my sleeves, but there were too many and my school vest was wet. I was so pathetic...

I heard the clown guy stand. He probably got tired of my pessimistic shit and was about to leave. Not wasting his time with a shitty brat like me... but...

"Come on, brother. Don't be so hard on yourself."

I kept silent for a moment as he approached me.

"You seem like a good motherfucking person," he bent down to get to my height and then...

He hugged me.

The bastard hugged me...

And that was...

The small ray of hope that I needed.


End file.
